Let me begin with a confession. I am selfish. So are you. So is the person two cubicles away eating sprouts at 11 AM because suddenly samosa is evil! Corporate life & training has taught us that acknowledging a problem is 50% of the solution. (The other 50% is a town hall, a feedback form that no one fills, and a branded mug.
When I take sick leave, it is because I am sick. Genuinely, medically, tragically sick. My throat insides became sandpaper, you know! I lay in bed all alone with an empty steel glass on the side table, since no one was around to refill. And still I replied to two critical messages. I am a true-blue-blood example of devotion to work. While, Rohan takes sick leave almost every Friday or Monday! In fact, his Instagram story actually mentioned that Kasauli is not a destination, it’s a journey to wellbeing. Actually, have you noticed, maybe it’s the air in the Board Room? Most senior folk fall sick around monthly, quarterly, half yearly reviews? Poor people. By God, we have seen less calculated moves at a chess championship. The hoarse voice is always so practiced and nuanced!
My body is a temple that occasionally collapses. Your body is just an alibi.
Everyone knows I work the smartest and the hardest. My workload is more than others. If workloads were a Netflix series, yours would be a 1-hour Standup Comedy versus my 14-Seasons Saga of betrayal, depression and undeserving suffering. I know this because I can feel it. Every email, every deck, every "quick five-minute call" that never ends in 5. My everything is hugely and logically bigger than yours! I'm literally drowning in work. You are simply "acting busy." I stay late as it's commitment. When you stay late, it's poor time management! Or sucking up to the boss. I get exploited when I get new assignments. When one is handed to you, it's favoritism of the boss.
Home work is on a different level. Only I can manage things at my place. The kids' need me to become the center of the galaxy for the science project. My maid, cook, driver, gardener get heavy breathing if they don’t see me every few hours. Don’t get me wrong. My spouse, in-laws and house-helps are lovely. But can I trust and delegate things to them? I have seen them working. You know, according to them "thoda sa dal" is a valid unit of measurement. So yes, I will log off by six. I need to be home or work from home whenever I am busier than usual. But you? Why do you need to leave early (630 PM in india is leaving early, right?) You have a mother-in-law, a husband, a driver, two maids and your kids are even teenagers and your own mother who lives in the same city! I have suggested all of this to people in the most supportive tone. My mother-in-law, spouse etc. is not available as agenda items for discussion.
The other very obvious unfair treatment to me are the leave/breaks offered to me. I took just one. A single uninterrupted, well-deserved and just about sufficient 2 weeks break. I earned it. I bled for it. I set my out-of-office & checked mail only "once or twice. And can you imagine? My colleague, Saurabh took for long breaks during the year!! One every quarter. Every break for 4 days each! How is it fair? Just one break for me versus four for him? Same number of days. But, I am furious. Because, it's daylight robbery of company leave policy by others. Am the loyal one here.
Logic has no business in matters of the heart or the annual leave tracker.
And then there are the invisible hiccups, or cups. The office boy brings tea, a little late today. I smirk since I feel betrayed. Maybe the coffee machine was acting funny. Or the lift stopped at 2 extra floors. I gave these excuses when I entered late in the meeting. But that chap cannot be late ever. It is noticed, when the housekeeping lady wipes our desk and we lift our coffee mug two inches so she can clean, we feel quite generous about it. Why?
We have an entire philosophy on our own exhaustion. Theirs, we never notice. Not because we're cruel. Because we are the busier and more important one. The main character in the script of life.
Trust me. None of this makes us villains. It makes us human. We experience our own lives in 4K with Dolby surround. Everyone else's is a muted, pixelated screen, B-Grade movie from the next room. Our story has flashback and a thrilling end for the next Season. The other person’s storyline is just a timestamp.
So what do we do now? Nothing much. For starters, just accept and acknowledge. Simply thank the office boy and may be ask, why is he late and just nod? Please start assuming the colleague's migraine is real. Please know, everyone has a washroom at home that can have a plumbing issue. If you ask me, honestly though, going by human evolution - from sharing fire in caves to fighting over parking spots and feeling jealous about leaves, am not too sure. We got better brains, but bigger egos and smaller hearts.
So,
I'm not holding my breath. But hey, my sarcasm is actually concern for society.
Yours, I'm not so sure about.
-Q
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