Sunday, January 17, 2016

My views on views

I am not really a data person. I rely more on intuition & my superiority complex to decide on most things. I apply the same on my understanding of the atlas, the world map, global issues & universal problems. And I believe, everything is fine. Data suggests 40%+ world population is on internet. My sense is, if I reduce double counting of different IP being used by the same user, this should be just about 30%. 

Now, taking a family of 10 people, if 3 of them are not aware, neutral or against a certain collective view point, perception or decision I think, the majority view is the family’s final execution. Of course, in no way do I ignore the existence of these 3 people. They are absolutely legitimate, active and rightful in feeling what they believe is the truth. But, it really shouldn’t matter to the majority 70%.

In fact, I think the majority 70% does not even understand why the balance 30% tweet things as if they are on drugs, update status messages with zero grammar sense (leave alone any intellectual sense), share pictures mostly to tell others, “I am having more fun that you” & declare their true self and mentality in the garb of giving opinions. Am doing the same, by the way ☺

Anyhow, getting back to the topic. So, whoever may get to read this masterpiece of mine is basically on the internet. And just to reiterate, if it hasn’t clicked yet, we are the minority. So, let us not assume we are changing the world. We are only getting informed how the other minority minds think & are trying to influence the other minority minds, sitting easily and typing on a laptop, desktop or perhaps a mobile screen. This is not how the world will change. 

The majority still lives a very different life from you and I. They shall continue to do so. The world revolves and rotates. Population was born & will die. People will procreate & will learn to survive. It is our basic instinct. 

I really believe everything is just fine.

Thursday, February 05, 2015

Roast - Raw, Rare, Medium or Well Done?

I like what the team of AIB usually does. But I really loved what they could achieve with introducing Roast, for the first time, in a society like ours. It takes passion, will to start and end, ready to take a stand and perhaps a beating, fight, convince and ofcourse balls like “roasted” nuts, to conceptualise, create & present a phenomenon like “insult comedy, more so, in a society like ours. It is a miracle on how Team-AIB could convince people like Arjun Kapoor, Ranveer Singh & Karan Johar to get involved and that too in a magnitude that they did. But what is almost impossible to think is their outrageous imagination to assume that they could pull off something like this, in a society like ours.
Did I say, “in a society like ours” repeatedly? Yes, I did. And I would not even get to the so called traditional, old school, closed minded-last generation society. Frankly, in my mind, they are no different from people in my generation. We are exactly the same. And I say this with surety, because, I am part of the “society” I am referring to; living & breathing it. I have had no experience living in a village which has a khap panchayat, live instances of female foeticide or domestic violence in my family (hopefully!!) under influence of substance or family J.
But I have grown up watching TV in a room full of people across ages, who would be whispering all sorts of adult stuff (much on the lines of AIB-Roast) among their peer group but looking away from the TV when a condom ad would come. I have grown up being witness to eve-teasing where 5 boys would be passing the most lewd comments (worse than AIB-Roast) towards a lonely lady with another 5 witnesses actually enjoying it (me included! L). On other occasions, if some of us did object to such a gang of boys, we would be threatened with even worse comments. Sometimes, policemen supporting “the gang”. I know of fathers cursing their wives in front of kids, abusing kids in front visitors (pretty much similar cuss words as in AIB) and in turn kids back chatting with their parents in similar fashion. Oh, and they are from so called, “well to do” families, much like who paid for a ticket to watch AIB-Roast, live.
I live in a society, where women are being raped every day and roasted for the rest of their lives; where women, falsely accuse men of rape and violence and hold them under ransom & blackmail, roasting them for life. I live in a society which roasts “not so straight” human beings, every day at every given opportunity. I live in a society, where in the name of caste, bright and much more intellectual minds than “high castes”, are nipped in the bud. I am part of the society of the so clichéd, will hold my tool and piss in the open and be proud of it, but still cannot hold hands among friends, family or any place in public. I am part of the society which declares a human being as God, be it a cricketer or a movie star. Not to forget the many “sanyasis” who wear nothing but silk and eat only fruits, irrespective of the season. Aren’t we roasting our own self, every bloody day?
I live in a society, where, women sympathise with women who were sexually harassed/raped but do not support the victim, saying “we only know one side of the story”. I believe, that’s even worse than all cuss words put together for the AIB-Roast show.
Not that I have given up. Or that I am not fighting. I am doing my bit. And I have picked humour as my weapon. Which is why I support humour, blindly and unconditionally. Which is why I support AIB. Which is why I loved AIB-Roast. This is my bit.
I strongly believe, screw whoever is in government, centre or state, or has promised “a clean & better place”; if most of us (everyone will be too much of humour!!), can do their bit right, India is perhaps, the best place to be in. We have been, unnecessarily and illogically, comparing our country with irrelevant parameters among other so called developed countries. With some effort, I too can produce enough “data” to counter most of the parameters (humour for some, I guess J). But, I would rather laugh it off – my ignorance and your intellect. Because, I don’t see a reason why should I not. I cannot convince, fully. I will not be convinced, ever. But I can laugh, fully & shamelessly. Because, I love a hearty laugh.
Talking about love, a different kind of roast is coming up, Valentine’s Day. I pity outstation lovers, who are in a dilemma, whether to visit their valentine on 14th Feb and if they would back in time to watch the India-Pakistan world cup cricket match. What would they do? Dekhenge, Hum Log. J J

Tuesday, February 03, 2015

Feel The Thought

I have always been confused between a feeling and a thought. Statements like, I was thinking of you, or, I have a feeling this is not right, never completely made me comfortable. I think, and I am thinking this, not feeling; that we can only feel for something living;  something which can test our senses.
A thought, could be anything, for anything and about anything, living or abstract. I could have a thought about people, traffic signals, food or work. But it isn't actually our creation ever. A thought occurs to us. We don't think. A thought comes to us. We are not the source of any of our own thoughts. I think so.
I feel for people. I feel for my pet. I feel bad for poor kids without a family and rich kids without friends. I feel because I have senses. And I can only feel something that can test our senses.
But then what about that thing called "sixth sense"? Isn't that an abstract thing? And don't we get thoughts because of that? And hence, isn't it that thoughts have something to do with my sense? But then what I get thinking is my sixth sense actually is a feeling only. Infact, it is when I get stronger feelings. And I feel so because, I can think deep. I can think hard. I can't think strongly. But I can feel strongly. And over a period of time I have realized I need to have strong feelings to make myself do something. A deep thought can probably help me look, re-look and change or amend my perceived notions in a certain way. A thought can at best give me a direction, not a vision. I need to feel to activate my senses, and act in a certain way.
I think I can feel. I feel this is a random thought. :)

Thursday, January 01, 2015

I Will....

I tried answering
Some lingering questions
I tried to avoid new dilemmas
And failed.
I tried possessing
Some new acquisitions
I tried retaining some archives
And failed.
I tried making people smile
I wanted to help people
I asked for help
And failed.
So what?
So what I lost. I loved fully.
I lost, to learn.
I learnt, to know.
Know myself & you better.
Better than yesterday.
I will lose again.
I will learn again.
I will love again.

2nd January 2015

Sunday, December 07, 2014

I am Alive

What I cannot share, I hide
What I cannot hide, spreads rumours
With every thought, time flies
To clouds of suspicious memories
Words tossed up, hurled into the sky
Striking at the stars and making them fall
With wavering startles and dimness.
This is how thoughts come to me
Flashes of memories, dry hot blows of pain
With sudden numbness in between

To let me know I am alive.

Silent Valley

Sitting with stars as company
I count stars, all alone.
Standing alone on the cliff
Clouds murmur greetings of you.
The chill in the air
The mist and its moistness
The light breeze with heavy notes
Share with me your presence.
We are far and yet to close
Like the valley below and hanging clouds
Saving it from the sun, and yet
Drenching possessively, the one they love.
As the night passes
The moon smiles, blushing
Another night slides away in silence

Without telling anyone about us.

Pie in the circle of Life

We know what’s sufficient,
For us to live at ease.
What we don’t realise is;
When is it enough?
Width of our needs,
Breadth of wants,
Depth of greed,
Buries our content.
In the circle of life,
On the diameter of desires,
We run across to edges;
Slipping to temptations, sometimes.
On thin lines of radius,
Through bored, blunt pencils,
Overwritten, the unrequited;
Is an expensive but required;
Urge to forego.


Why don’t you linger around
In my thoughts
For a bit more time
My restless mind
Needs a new reason
To unhide itself.
My heart aches
To show its scars
To be touched by a light
And show me the tunnel
For my pain to walk out
Hand in Hand
Where the lines of destiny
Which end on my palm
Are crossed over by yours
Entangling our mismatch
And completes our existence

Together & forever

Game of Love

With thoughts playing in my head,
And words being said without much thought;
It never seemed like a game I knew.

With rules vanishing away,
Much like my fellow players;
It turned out everyone was an opponent.

Emotions seeped out of it,
And so I loved with all my heart;
To be proven wrong yet again.

My soul had its own battles to fight,
And it chose me to settle its dues;
Soul was to love & be loved.

Think what you can; do what you must.
Never have a plan;
To love or lust.


There are people who say they know you well
There are days when you are not you
Everyone is around
But no one misses you.
There are nights when it is bright & striking
Stars shine & the moon gleams
You want to be felt
But no breeze to touch you.
There are times when you are not happy
You are not sad either; just don’t feel right
That one thought passes by

And there is content.


I want to bask in today’s sun
Rather than slipping away
Into shadows of yesterday
I want to walk alone
But alongside stars & the moon
Wait for sunrise
And welcome tomorrow.
Or it will be today, right?

I want to feel myself smiling
And enjoy my solitude
I want to touch my being
And hear the silence within
I trust my intuitions
I dream my imaginations
I am in no hurry to be there

But I should not miss the sunrise, either.

My need to want You

I need you to know my faults
But I want you to ignore them for a while
I need you to know I can do better
but I want you to make me so.

I have to tell you so much about me
And yet I have things you better not know
I want though, to know, all of you
And I need to surrender all me to you.

I want you to win this fight within me
Of my need to want you
And my want of having you
Only for myself
I want to lose myself
To win you over.

Pieces of Love

Sometimes it is better to break
And become pieces
Instead of remaining intact
Those tiny, invisible shards
Can spread carelessly
And when the sun shines
Throw rays to all directions
Declaring the love I have for you
To the entire world
I have decided, hence
To celebrate this soreness
This strike of destiny
To keep us apart

Probably never to meet, ever.

Veiled desires

Open eyes
Veiled desires
Quivering lips
Unsaid agreements
Whispering breaths
Screaming passion
A timid tease
A torrid temptation

Seducing moves
Fire up quests
For eyes to flirt
Fingers to touch
Hands to explore
Lips to devour
Bodies to savour
Souls to meet

Despite defences
There is a moment
When barriers break
Controls fail
You lose senses
You win the other


Your eyes,
Innocent and quiet;
Shining but shy, twinkling elegance.
They talk incessantly, leaving me speechless
Moving softly to leave me paralysed 
A look from you,
Shares something I can’t own;
But the desire to possess,
Translate into dreams.
That delicate gaze
Strips me off my façade
I become what I could be
I bare my soul
And search for yours.
I am scared of them too, sometimes.
They seek too much.
They take too much.
They kill me, almost.
By making me breathless.
But they give me so much too.
They give me hope.
They give me love.
They give me desire.
They give me the message;

I can be me, with you.

Saturday, December 06, 2014

Hide and Seek

Like a wanderer, I travel through the day.
With an unknown living, getting to know life.
I rest at nights, watching the stars.
Playing hide and seek; celebrating darkness.
I wake up to the sun. Get relief in shadows.
When breeze passes by, perspiration cools me down.

I am a wanderer. I know not of any destination.
Roads lead me ahead, turns disappear behind me.
The leafless tree stands tall; perhaps that’s a milestone
A landmark for travellers, to find their way back.
There was a well too. Did hear it never dries.
It knows there will be days,
When thirst gulps emotion and hunger swallows aspiration.

My eyes keeps walking, my steps follow.
My heart sings, I hum along.
My fingers point at the horizon;
My mind picks directions.
I never know what lies ahead;
I know I will reach a place that I have never been.
I know I will have a view I have never seen.
I will walk on days.
I will rest at nights.
At dusk, I will prepare for the next game
Of hide and seek.

Are we there yet?

I suddenly feel depressed.
You feel happiness all around;
In just a moment.
But, there has to be a reason,
To get that lump in my throat.
Or have moist eyes.
To feel agony or intimate
To feel lost or purposely lose.
Feel sheer joy or blue.
Alas, I get so busy with the feeling
Of sadness or celebration!
Arguing to convince why I am right, always;
I don’t remember why all this started? And when I do,
I don’t know how to step it up or step back?
I forget why all exists, at all.

We need to understand, that
All want to be happy.
And all we want is someone;
Who needs us.

To be at the place,
Where you and I can breathe;.
We don’t need words
We just need sense.
To touch and embrace.
To see and know.
To taste and serve.
To listen and nod.
To say and not hurt.

Are we there yet?

Folds on your forehead

Your smile would make me alive;
Smoothen the creases of my worries.
Deep and dark crevices of my being;
Would open up for you by just your being with me.
You could reach where no one else had,
You would touch me where I never existed, yet.
Your voice would warm my heart in cold nights
Your touch would heal my ruining self.
With intervals of time rivers dry up.
Leaves fall off in summers even on windless days.
It is nature of life to blossom and wear off in seasons.
You and I fell into one such trap and departed.
I kept flowing like a dry rivulet waiting for monsoons;
You flew away to presence of a new season.
I have survived, living on memories;
Of bounty & over flowing streams of love.
Today, standing with you, looking at you;
Am unable to watch you this way.
Let me swim across these waves that line your forehead.
These folds which have suddenly swallowed you.
I see you. But I miss your face that is my need.


Opened my old almirah,
To find something misplaced.
Was not sure if I would find it there
Searching for a while, suddenly
Found a neatly folded paper,
Tucked under an old blanket.
Since my mind was playing hide-n-seek,
With that misplaced object, I ignored this paper.
Finally, I gave up and closed the almirah.
Walking back, I saw a crumpled paper on the table,
Which reminded me of that folded paper in the almirah.
I went back, opened the chest and took out that blanket.
And I was surprised when not one, but two paper pieces fell off the folds.

One was a multi-fold paper piece.
I could make out some impressions on one side.
Had something written inside which tempted me instantly,
To open and read it, when I noticed,
The other was a clean old yellowish single paper fold,
Which turned out to be an envelope,
That had no address.
I unfolded the written piece.
And was shocked by the hand writing,
It was mine!
A little unsure now, I opened the piece fully.
Read the whole letter in one single breath.
Without any feeling, I tore the paper length;
And I tore the envelope too.

I closed the almirah,
Crumpled the torn letter and envelope;
Picked the already crumpled paper on the table,
And threw all of it together in the bin.
I sat down on the table and reminisced.
Those moments, days and nights.
I smiled and unknowingly shook my head,
With no address, how could I post the letter?
But with no address, why did I have an envelope in hand?
And even though I had an envelope,

I never put the letter inside the envelope?