"Protected Feelings"

Anyone I meet, I look for you
Whoever I talk to, I want to know what you would have said
I hear the words you never said
I agree with you.

I confess to myself I need you
And then I console myself for it
I promise not to ask the same question over and over again, to myself.
I confess again.

You have become the reason for my existence
Your smile is my sunshine, your voice is my compass of life
The words you speak weave my thoughts together
Your eyes tell me what I should believe
The flow of your hair changes the rhythm of my heart
Your fragrance lingers, never to leave me alone

And I watch you from a distance
As a stranger in a new town
You have always lived with me, but
I don’t exist for you.

Secrets are not kept, they should be protected
I will protect you from the world
And keep you away from me
I always knew, we were never meant to be.

And yet I hope for a day
When you will know
There was someone who walked by
Asked you for an address, to live forever in oblivion


Q
30th April 2013

Impossible Hope

I have to learn to avoid asking questions, answers to which are known and may hurt

I have to steer clear of dilemma, which I know will only entangle me more

I start speaking and then I halt

I start listening and then stop hearing you even, suddenly

I keep looking back as if waiting for something to come by

I desire for things, of no use to me anymore

I want to be in a crowd when I am desperately alone

And among swarm of people, I try to find my identity

I need to speak out

I need to listen to you

I need to hear my voice and know that you are listening to me

Unfulfilled desires, for how long will they remain so?

Is it possible to yearn for the impossible and yet hope I will return to you?

22nd April 2013