I am Alive

What I cannot share, I hide

What I cannot hide, spreads rumours

With every thought, time flies

To clouds of suspicious memories

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Words tossed up, hurled into the sky

Striking at the stars and making them fall

With wavering startles and dimness.

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This is how thoughts come to me

Flashes of memories, dry hot blows of pain

With sudden numbness in between

To let me know I am alive.

Silent Valley

Sitting with stars as company

I count stars, all alone.

Standing alone on the cliff

Clouds murmur greetings of you.

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The chill in the air

The mist and its moistness

The light breeze with heavy notes

Share with me your presence.

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We are far and yet to close

Like the valley below and hanging clouds

Saving it from the sun, and yet

Drenching possessively, the one they love.

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As the night passes

The moon smiles, blushing

Another night slides away in silence

Without telling anyone about us.

Pie in the circle of Life

We know what’s sufficient,

For us to live at ease.

What we don’t realise is;

When is it enough?

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Width of our needs,

Breadth of wants,

Depth of greed,

Buries our content.

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In the circle of life,

On the diameter of desires,

We run across to edges;

Slipping to temptations, sometimes.

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On thin lines of radius,

Through bored, blunt pencils,

Overwritten, the unrequited;

Is an expensive but required;

Urge to forego.

Unhide

Why don’t you linger around

In my thoughts

For a bit more time

My restless mind

Needs a new reason

To unhide itself.

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My heart aches

To show its scars

To be touched by a light

And show me the tunnel

For my pain to walk out

Hand in Hand

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Where the lines of destiny

Which end on my palm

Are crossed over by yours

Entangling our mismatch

And completes our existence

Together & forever

Game of Love

With thoughts playing in my head,

And words being said without much thought;

It never seemed like a game I knew.

With rules vanishing away,

Much like my fellow players;

It turned out everyone was an opponent.

Emotions seeped out of it,

And so I loved with all my heart;

To be proven wrong yet again.

My soul had its own battles to fight,

And it chose me to settle its dues;

Soul was to love & be loved.

Think what you can; do what you must.

Never have a plan;

To love or lust.

Content

There are people who say they know you well

There are days when you are not you

Everyone is around

But no one misses you.

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There are nights when it is bright & striking

Stars shine & the moon gleams

You want to be felt

But no breeze to touch you.

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There are times when you are not happy

You are not sad either; just don’t feel right

That one thought passes by

And there is content.

Sunrise

I want to bask in today’s sun

Rather than slipping away

Into shadows of yesterday

I want to walk alone

But alongside stars & the moon

Wait for sunrise

And welcome tomorrow.

Or it will be today, right?

I want to feel myself smiling

And enjoy my solitude

I want to touch my being

And hear the silence within

I trust my intuitions

I dream my imaginations

I am in no hurry to be there

But I should not miss the sunrise, either.

My need to want You

I need you to know my faults

But I want you to ignore them for a while

I need you to know I can do better
but I want you to make me so.

I have to tell you so much about me

And yet I have things you better not know

I want though, to know, all of you

And I need to surrender all me to you.

I want you to win this fight within me

Of my need to want you

And my want of having you

Only for myself

I want to lose myself

To win you over.

Pieces of Love

Sometimes it is better to break

And become pieces

Instead of remaining intact

Those tiny, invisible shards

Can spread carelessly

And when the sun shines

Throw rays to all directions

Declaring the love I have for you

To the entire world

I have decided, hence

To celebrate this soreness

This strike of destiny

To keep us apart

Probably never to meet, ever.

Veiled desires

Open eyes

Veiled desires

Quivering lips

Unsaid agreements

Whispering breaths

Screaming passion

A timid tease

A torrid temptation

Seducing moves

Fire up quests

For eyes to flirt

Fingers to touch

Hands to explore

Lips to devour

Bodies to savour

Souls to meet

Despite defences

There is a moment

When barriers break

Controls fail

You lose senses

You win the other

Eyes

Your eyes,
Innocent and quiet;

Shining but shy, twinkling elegance.

They talk incessantly, leaving me speechless

Moving softly to leave me paralysed 
A look from you,

Shares something I can’t own;

But the desire to possess,

Translate into dreams.

That delicate gaze

Strips me off my façade

I become what I could be

I bare my soul

And search for yours.

I am scared of them too, sometimes.

They seek too much.

They take too much.

They kill me, almost.

By making me breathless.

But they give me so much too.

They give me hope.

They give me love.

They give me desire.

They give me the message;

I can be me, with you.

Hide and Seek

Like a wanderer, I travel through the day.

With an unknown living, getting to know life.

I rest at nights, watching the stars.

Playing hide and seek; celebrating darkness.

I wake up to the sun. Get relief in shadows.

When breeze passes by, perspiration cools me down.

I am a wanderer. I know not of any destination.

Roads lead me ahead, turns disappear behind me.

The leafless tree stands tall; perhaps that’s a milestone

A landmark for travellers, to find their way back.

There was a well too. Did hear it never dries.

It knows there will be days,

When thirst gulps emotion and hunger swallows aspiration.

My eyes keeps walking, my steps follow.

My heart sings, I hum along.

My fingers point at the horizon;

My mind picks directions.

I never know what lies ahead;

I know I will reach a place that I have never been.

I know I will have a view I have never seen.

I will walk on days.

I will rest at nights.

At dusk, I will prepare for the next game

Of hide and seek.

Are we there yet?

I suddenly feel depressed.

You feel happiness all around;

In just a moment.

But, there has to be a reason,

To get that lump in my throat.

Or have moist eyes.

To feel agony or intimate

To feel lost or purposely lose.

Feel sheer joy or blue.

Alas, I get so busy with the feeling

Of sadness or celebration!

Arguing to convince why I am right, always;

I don’t remember why all this started? And when I do,

I don’t know how to step it up or step back?

I forget why all exists, at all.

We need to understand, that

All want to be happy.

And all we want is someone;

Who needs us.

To be at the place,

Where you and I can breathe;.

We don’t need words

We just need sense.

To touch and embrace.

To see and know.

To taste and serve.

To listen and nod.

To say and not hurt.

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Are we there yet?

Folds on your forehead

Your smile would make me alive;
Smoothen the creases of my worries.
Deep and dark crevices of my being;
Would open up for you by just your being with me.

You could reach where no one else had,

You would touch me where I never existed, yet.

Your voice would warm my heart in cold nights

Your touch would heal my ruining self.

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With intervals of time rivers dry up.

Leaves fall off in summers even on windless days.

It is nature of life to blossom and wear off in seasons.

You and I fell into one such trap and departed.

I kept flowing like a dry rivulet waiting for monsoons;

You flew away to presence of a new season.

I have survived, living on memories;

Of bounty & over flowing streams of love.

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Today, standing with you, looking at you;

Am unable to watch you this way.

Let me swim across these waves that line your forehead.

These folds which have suddenly swallowed you.

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I see you. But I miss your face that is my need.

Address

Opened my old almirah,

To find something misplaced.

Was not sure if I would find it there

Searching for a while, suddenly

Found a neatly folded paper,

Tucked under an old blanket.

Since my mind was playing hide-n-seek,

With that misplaced object, I ignored this paper.

Finally, I gave up and closed the almirah.

Walking back, I saw a crumpled paper on the table,

Which reminded me of that folded paper in the almirah.

I went back, opened the chest and took out that blanket.

And I was surprised when not one, but two paper pieces fell off the folds.

One was a multi-fold paper piece.

I could make out some impressions on one side.

Had something written inside which tempted me instantly,

To open and read it, when I noticed,

The other was a clean old yellowish single paper fold,

Which turned out to be an envelope,

That had no address.

I unfolded the written piece.

And was shocked by the hand writing,

It was mine!

A little unsure now, I opened the piece fully.

Read the whole letter in one single breath.

Without any feeling, I tore the paper length;

And I tore the envelope too.

I closed the almirah,

Crumpled the torn letter and envelope;

Picked the already crumpled paper on the table,

And threw all of it together in the bin.

I sat down on the table and reminisced.

Those moments, days and nights.

I smiled and unknowingly shook my head,

With no address, how could I post the letter?

But with no address, why did I have an envelope in hand?

And even though I had an envelope,

I never put the letter inside the envelope?

Window

I see my world

I hear voices, known and unknown

I feel the naughty breeze

I touch innocent raindrops

I stand and view afar

But it is only when I am sitting

All alone & wondering in silence

Looking for nothing in particular

Is when I see another window

A new frame opens up

And another self is sitting across

Peeping into my being

And he makes me see a lost world

Makes me hear my voice

Gives me the feeling of stillness

Delusions of my past

And a happy future blinks

But then it is time

To return to reality

The sun blinds me within

The window becomes my cage

I close it to escape confinement

I run away from me!

You Choke Me

Looking at you,

My own existence chokes me.

I cannot breathe, anymore. 
I desire you, like a roaring river

In a wild, stormy night,

Rushing to meet its end.

Unwrap­ping myself,

To be closer.
To get to you, to be in you.

Your presence is my ocean;

Embracing and taking me in.

Deeper, I need to go.

I slide and float,

Dive and settle.

Your touch are my waves.

Pushing me aside; pulling me within,

Rolling me slightly; brushing me roughly, sometimes.

Pinning me down, to nothing.

The melody of togetherness,

With fingers playing the music of love;

Without words.

But reverberating with intense meanings.

The foot bridge over the river,

Shaking and trembling,

Crossed, many a times,

Without looking at night or day;

Bodies ris­ing and heaving.

Sur­facing, glis­ten­ing, to finally drown

As there isn’t an inch that is left to hold

I am all in you and you in me.